Tag Archives: leggings are not pants

Inappropriate Pants Girl

At some point in the last few years, leggings made a serious comeback in the fashion world. This trend has created many positive effects on ladies’ fashion. One, leggings can extend summer-wear into fall and Southern winters, and two, dresses that were formerly too short for modest gals are now making their way into online shopping carts worldwide.  Here are some examples of appropriate uses of leggings:

 

Now, at some point, leggings took a gruesome turn in the fashion world. Leggings became a faux-acceptable substitute for actual pants. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. See unfortunate, SAD examples below:

(thank goodness her purse is strategically placed)

(Working out gives you a little more leeway, so we’ll forgive Amber Rose for this choice,  but if she were to wear this to the grocery store, judgment passed. The only other exception to this rule I’ll grant is for pregnant women. I know at a certain point that you just want anything stretchy. You’re carrying another human being in your body, access to leggings as pants, granted).

There are more examples, and more graphic examples… which is one of the number one reasons you should never wear leggings as pants. Leggings cling, leggings reveal. They show every curve and dimple. Ladies (and Conan), EVERY curve. I don’t care how rockin’ your bod is, we don’t all need to see every detail of your body. We don’t need to see your lady bits. Seriously. Stop. This is awkward for everyone around you. You’ve now entered the SAD realm of wardrobe choices.

There is a simple rule. I should not be able to see where your legs meet (front or back). If you think you have borderline outfits you need to test, I suggest you refer to this helpful guide:

I have long held this view of the inappropriate use of leggings. And in case you’re wondering if it’s just me (though, if you’ve made it to this point in the entry, you should know that both Conan and whoever made our great reference guide above agree with me), this principle was confirmed a few years ago while utilizing a Metro Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority train (MARTA is smarta… at least for sporting events).

Every so often, if you are attending a major event in Atlanta, the phenomenon of stranger group travel occurs. You recognize faces on your return ride that were co-passengers on your ride of origin. On one brisk evening, I was enjoying an evening out to cheer on my local hockey team before the Thrashers left town. As often happens, a large crowd formed following the game as we waited for the next MARTA train. I noticed across the track a woman who was wearing… yes, leggings as pants. There were several perplexing things about her wardrobe choice. I became singularly focused on the fact that I could not tell where her boots ended and where her leggings began. It was both confusing and mesmerizing! Are they anklets? Do they hit mid-calf, knee-high? Is she sporting thigh-high boots with a t-shirt? I must have spent at least 10 minutes trying to discern where the boots ended. I’m not kidding… 10 minutes staring at the woman across the track. I kept imploring my husband to make sense of it for me. And the legging and t-shirt combo… what was she thinking? Of course, my laser focus begat high hopes of landing a seat next to bootleggins girl (certainly that combination requires we drop the last g in leggings), but I lost track of her once we were inside the train. However, stranger group travel broke the spell as I realized that the same three guys clad in Thrasher jerseys that sat opposite us  on our ride to the game were again our train companions. They recognized us too and said, “Hey, we rode down here with you guys. That must  mean inappropriate pants girl is here too.”

Inappropriate pants girl, yes, I’ve seen her now too. I’ve surely been staring at her for the last 10 minutes. And now I see many an inappropriate pants girl on a weekly basis—at the grocery store, at the gas station, at the local coffeehouse. Other closely related ill-informed fashion choices include tights as pants (seriously, is there any question here?) and long-john bottoms as pants (clearly, those are meant to be worn underneath other clothes… yes, I really saw this… and I was immediately offended). Friends, don’t be her. Don’t be the girl on the train that people laugh about because you’re wearing LEGGINGS AS PANTS. They are not pants! The only possible reason I can come up with what could compel such a fashion choice is comfort. Maybe the stretch that leggings offer seems like heaven, but that is your exact enemy! The stretch is what shows your “wobbly bits,” as Bridgett Jones would say. And while she found a man that loved her and her wobbly bits, I don’t need to see that. I really don’t. Just wear pants. If you want to wear a regular length shirt, wear real pants. Please, choose pants.

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